***Double Warning*** I may regret posting this…Though my opinions usually are pretty low key…

****Triple Warning**** Ok there isn’t a triple warning, but a double warning seemed kinda boring!

I read AWESOME agent Rachelle Gardner’s post today, ‘The Power of Words‘. It’s a wonderful post!!! It just goes to show you what a wonderful and considerate agent she truly is. Though not all agents are super wonderful and considerate, I think we as authors tend to forget that they are people too.

OMG What!?!?! Agent’s are people?!?!?! You mean they are little robots at the end of the email tunnel sending out monotonous form rejection letters just to make us feel bad and crush our dreams?

Not even close.

Here’s how it is for a writer. (And let me tell you…it sucks!)

We spend months to years writing a book. We put blood sweat and tears into it. Our hearts get poured out onto the page. We laugh and we cry with our characters. We fall in love with our stories. We spend hours upon hours gagging over editing our poor sentence structure, prepositions, adverbs, punctuation. We try our hardest to show when we are telling .(Even if we barely know what that means!) We remove all our was’s, thats, hads, justs, and every other word including very and surely just to appease our readers.

Needless to say, these books are our lives. Some of us spend more time with these stories than we do our families! (Of course I would never do that because that would be wrong and over the top and completely inappropriate…especially on holidays! I’d never write on a holiday!)

Then the moment of truth comes. We write our query, our synopsis, our outline and our elevator pitch. We are ready to sell this book!!! Am I wrong? And the same goes for the query as goes for the manuscript. All of the editing and blood sweat and tears spent on the manuscript gets doubled on the query letter.

AND THEN… we send it out!

AND THEN… we get a form rejection, and another, and another, and maybe a request for a full or a partial, but that turns into a rejection and then another form rejection and another form rejection and and and… you get the point.

It sucks!

We are defeated and we want to quit…but we don’t. We just do it all over again with a new story until it happens for us. An agent picks us up and we sell our books and we are in heaven…(Though it doesn’t even really work that way does it? Well unless your name is *cough* Stephanie Meyers *cough*)

With me still????

But here is how I see it from an agents perspective, and I could be totally wrong….this is just an opinion….

Agents wake up in the morning to mounds of emails. Queries full of blood sweat and tears and each author’s hopes and dreams sitting in each email waiting for that agent to make their dreams come true!!!

Hundreds upon who knows how many dreams to make come true!

Let’s be realistic friends….they can’t make all our dreams come true.

And goodness knows probably only 1/3 of those queries are formatted correctly and follow the agency guidelines. And out of those probably only 1/8 have a personal tone to them and haven’t been sent to a email group listed “cool agents to submit to”. And just look at all of us submitting. Do you think everyone one of us has a publishing worthy manuscript??? (Well of course I do, and I’m sure you do too, or you wouldn’t be reading my awesome blog! These agents would be better of surfing our blogs to find us!!! Right?!?!) Doubtful. We are all full of ideas and we are all great writers. But that doesn’t mean we are all publish worthy.

And how many of those do you think are first time authors!!! How many queries have I sent out with “This is my first novel”??? Um yeah…well looking back at my first novel, though I love it, it kinda sucks. I didn’t know what I was doing.  And I’m sure numerous queries are similar.

Then on top of that think about how many queries are absolutely dreadful. We know they are out there. Heck it could have even been mine!

Would you want to be an agent?

Just think about ALL the rejections they have to send out. We do complain because it seems they send out too many, I know we do. But how do you think they feel when they send them out? Do you think it goes like this???

Agent, “I love sending out rejections left and right today. I just love crushing people’s dreams!!! This is so fun. LALALALALA! Crushing dreams is fun. I love my job!!!”

Again…doubtful!

And then on top of that they have to read manuscripts and deal with the clients they have and and and….I don’t know about you but it takes me at least two days to read through my own manuscript. Imagine having a crap load of them sitting in your email, all of which are awesome but you can only choose a few out of that bunch because publishers just don’t want to publish unless they are super freaking awesome! (Like mine of course…….right? RIGHT!!!!)

THEN on top of that they have to read blogs and comments and tweets about how we think they suck. How we think its rude that once in awhile they gripe about their job. HA! How often do WE gripe about OUR job on twitter and blogs and comments? Goodness let them vent once in awhile!!! In my opinion I think their comments are funny, even if they are occasionally inappropriate. Those are the comments that show me they are human. Those are the comments that make me less intimidated by them. Those are the comments that make me sit back and smile and think, “Crap, being a writer sucks, but being an agent sucks WAY more!!!”

So maybe…at least during this holiday season…we can give agents a break. Maybe even be thankful that they are out there fighting FOR us, not against us. Or heck, be thankful we aren’t them! At least we get the fun part!!!

Just saying….

Now bring on the comments of anger…I know they are coming I can handle them! (I think….)

At this point I am having troubles ending my story. I feel like I need to edit more before I can end it. Not for the typical reasons, but instead because I want to make sure I end it properly. Have you ever had that happen? Or do you think I’m just procrastinating?

Regardless I am still in love with this story. Now if I can just find a way to end it and come up with a pitch I’ll be in good shape. Good shape to edit that is!

That’s right kids! I finished it. And not only did I finish it, but I finished it last week, 10 days early!  An entire 50K in 20 Days.

However, I did not finish the book itself. I still have a chapter or two to go. I need to reread and make sure I close all the plot holes. But I have to admit, this book is amazing!!! I have loved every moment of it and I can’t wait to share it with the world … after about 5 more drafts!

30 Days and Nights of Literary Abandon

30 Days and Nights of Ignoring my family and house hold responsibilities

30 Days and Nights of Pulling my Hair Out

30 Days and Nights of Eating LOTS of Junk Food

30 Days and Nights full of Prepositions, Passive Writing, and Absolutely NO Contractions!

30 Days and Nights of Writing Sentences that Run on and on and on and make absolutely no Sense!

30 Days and Nights of Losing my Mind

What is NaNoWriMo to you?

This is my first year and I can not wait to finish it! 2 Days in and I am up to 4,940 words. Great start … Hope I have an even better Finish!

Last week I attended The Muse Online Conference where we had a chance to pitch directly to publishing houses and take numerous workshops as well as chat it up with awesome agents such as Rachelle Gardner!

After The Great Toilet Fiasco last weekend (did I mention we still don’t have a toilet in?) I didn’t have a chance to check my email until late Sunday afternoon. Little did I know that a happy little email had been brewing in my inbox since 7am that very same morning.

I had my very first Publishing Contract offer!

Champagne fell from the heavens, confetti got stuck in my nose, and I stubbed my toe half way through the happy dance. (Who put that desk there!)

After the party died down (an entire 2 minutes later…mainly because my husband refused to bring in the petting zoo for the celebration…something about how the goats might attack my gnomes…) I got right to work researching every aspect of the company and the contract. It was big decision time!

I googled, I searched blogs, I googled some more (did you know you can get a street view of a company address….apparently they worked out of their home….a very NICE home!) and went through their website with a fine tooth comb.

There were a couple things on the contract that I was not completely comfortable with, so I wrote them down as questions to ask later. The company did not offer any type of advance and I found that quite disappointing. The main thing I kept coming back to however, was the genre that they mainly published … Erotica.

My book … NOT Erotica

Strike One

I added that to my list of things I was not comfortable with.

After getting together my laundry list I sent an email and asked about my concerns, making sure my book would be published in print being amongst the top of the list.

Their answer … Our company can not make any guarantees at this time that any manuscripts will make it to print. (Or something of the sort)

Strike Two

So I simmered on this further. The images of me holding MY book in my hands were fading and the images of the covers of their books became stronger. (Granted I like me a nice little six pack sitting below some pretty pecs … not really what I had in mind for my cover) I decided to sift through their website once more. One little ad made my decision a bit easier.

“Currently seeking erotica (with a focus on BDSM)”

I am many things … small, snarky, often irritating, occasionally funny, super cute (or so I’m told) and a few thousand other things … but I am not someone who wants to be known for publishing with a company that seeks out ‘BDSM’.

Note that I understand everyone has their preferences and maybe some of you even prefer to read that, BUT I just don’t want to linked to that type of literature. It’s not who I am and it’s not anything I would want anyone mistaking my novel for.

So this coupled with the fact that they were not willing to guarantee me a print run pretty much made the decision final.

Last night I sent an email declining the offer.

I want ever so much to be a published author. I eat it, I dream it, I live it. I just can’t put my morals on the back burner and sell myself to something I don’t believe in.

So where it is GREAT that someone wanted to publish my book … it kinda sucks that it is not going to happen … YET (key word their my friends…key word!)

Now I also mentioned in my earlier post that I also had some fun updates. Let’s not leave those out!

Lansing Online News has requested an interview with me as a local Aspiring Authoress! I will keep you updated for when the article comes out!

ALSO

They have put me in touch with Bill at Mittenlit.com in hope to get some good advice and feed back, as well as hopefully a spot to advertise my book as soon as it does come out!

AND

My first published website is up and running … OldtownArt.com !!! Check it out, let me know what you think! I’ve also been lucky enough to work on some online marketing for them as well so you can check out her twitter page, facebook page and become a fan!

I’ve been a busy girl! I think it’s time for a vacation!

Ahhhh Italy….What? Didn’t I mention I dream big!

***Note*** I purposely decided not to post the name of the Publisher as not to step on any toes. Sorry for those who were curious.

I have to embarrassingly point out that before that post I had not read much of anything since high school. Probably about 3 or 4 books as well as the Twilight Series and the Harry Potter Series…oh and Wuthering Heights (LOVE that book)

So SINCE July….this is what I’ve read….

New Moon by Stephanie Meyer (again)

Eclipse by Stephanie Meyer (again)

Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer (again)

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie

Pretty Is as Pretty Dies by Elizabeth Spann Craig

The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown

Dead Before Dark by Charlaine Harris

The Giver by Lois Lowry

The Wedding by Nicolas Sparks

Percy Jackson and the Olympians by  Rick Roirdon
The Lightening Thief
The Sea of Monsters
The Titans Curse
The Battle of the Labrynth
The Last Olympian

Looking for Alaska by John Green

An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

Paper Towns by John Green’

And right now I am reading The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Menu for Romance by Kaye Dacus

So I think it’s SAFE to say I think I’m ready to go back to writing. I even did a bit yesterday and am SUPER happy with what I got done. Although the problem now is … now that I’ve gotten into reading, I can’t stop! I am in love with it. I just can NOT consume enough books. Why didn’t anyone tell me that reading was so wonderful!!?!?!

And in case you were wondering, so far my favorites have been Pretty is as Pretty dies, The ENTIRE Percy Jackson series and Looking for Alaska.

Know of any other books you think I MUST read? Leave them in the comments! Hope everyone enjoyed the summer as much as I did!

So I have emerged from the creative setbacks and entered a new level of frustration. I now am FULL of ideas but can not figure out how to put them on paper or make them all work together. Fun Times I tell ya!

It seems like everyone seems to be getting MS requests and offers for representation and publishing deals lately. I am so excited for everyone. Still I feel a little let down that I’m not one of them. BUT I have to remember they have all been here longer than me and I need to have patience. I can’t wait till it happens to me!

I heard the best thing this weekend and I intend to live by it. Someone said, “Hope Big…it may not happen how or when you want it to…but it WILL happen!”

So my friends… have you been full of Big Hopes lately?

I spent the majority of the day working on it yesterday. Here is what I accomplished…

• An amazing back story. I have an entire history created. The best part about it is…no one but me will probably ever hear it! But it is very necessary for my story. There has to be a reason for everything happening…and without the back story that can not happen.

• A time line. The history is complicated. (That is partially why I adore it so much) It all revolves around a certain time line of about 50 years. There were births and deaths that needed to be plotted before anything else could happen.

• I had already written the prologue awhile back, but once I wrote the entire back story, I realized it needed a little bit of help, just a few tweaks to be exact. I still think there are some spots that could use some flesh, but I haven’t decided if I want to yet. (Not out of laziness….other reasons of course…) So for the time being, the Prologue is complete!

• The first page of Chapter 1. I started to do this before I realized that I could not move any further until my characters had….

• Names! I don’t know about you, but I HATE naming characters! My MC – Alexis Foster – was fun to name. Her name was not chosen because I liked it…it was chosen because it was necessary! (But I do like it too!) But her name was chosen the day I thought up the novel. So yesterday I had about 20 other characters to create. I broke open my baby naming websites and websites that gave me the popular names for popular years, then I went even FURTHER and looked up the meanings for the names that I chose, well at least for the main characters. I wanted their names to FIT their personalities perfectly.

For one days work I was very productive!!! Just think what I can accomplish in a week! (Probably only half that amount! LOL)

***Want regular updates about me and my Books (that’s write..I can say BOOKS now!) Become a Fan On Facebook! ***

the BEST analogy

Well I think my novel wants to break up with me. I can hear the five versions of Chapter 1 surrounding me with their antagonizing comments about what a mess I have made out of them! Just imagine what will happen when I print out Chapter 2!!!

I just know my book is sitting back and saying, “Um yo, listen Dawg.” (That’s right, my novel speaks like Randy Jackson…doesn’t everyone’s?) “Ok so Dawg…Chapter 1 was really starting to come together for us, but then you changed things around and removed all these words and now I’m just not so sure this is working out. And don’t even get me started on Chapter 2. Did you even KNOW what you were trying to say there? I think maybe it’s time we took a break, maybe see other people…..”

But I’m not convinced that I should give up on the relationship. After all…I created this mess, I should be able to clean it up….right? Maybe we just need some “Couple’s Counseling”!!!! It worked for Ben and Andy… (How to lose a guy in 10 Days….) Sigh! Do you think my book will go for it. Do you think it still loves me? Because I’m really not so sure this week. Maybe if I just avoid it for a few days it will change it’s mind!

So what is your vote?

Which one has more effect….

The most devastating moment I can recall would have to be the moment I realized I was dead.

OR

The awareness of my death was anything but instantaneous.

Help a girl out kids!