I had the most amazing first chapter spurt out of me. I held back on the adjectives and adverbs. Passive sentences took a back seat for the active writing to shine through. I showed like telling didn’t even exist. The chapter is BEAUTIFUL!

Then I had a brain fart.

Half of chapter two is plotted and written, but I don’t know where to go with it. I don’t know how much to reveal now and how much to save for later. I don’t know how quickly to move my chapters. I don’t know what I can use as some filler action. And worst of all, I have NO CLUE how to end this book.

I spent half the day yesterday writing every thought that passed through my head….it got me nowhere. Wait! That’s a lie…it got me frustrated! All this absolutely beautiful back story and I can’t for the life of me figure out how to flesh out the front. Every new idea comes with a new challenge. I know I know…this is a good thing…conflict is yummy…fully aware…but not when you don’t know how to resolve it!

So once again I find myself stuck. I love writing, I despise being stuck.

Ever been here? What did you do?

Reading Rachelle Gardner’s post today struck a cord with me today, and made it abundantly clear that I -unfortunately – am not ready to be a published author.

I WANT to be. I want to go to conferences and have an agent and book deals, but one thing remains clear. I can’t have book dealS, I only have one book! I can only imagine how many of you are rolling your eyes right now. Only ONE book! Most authors who become published have at least 3 novels under their belt. That is the point where they are considered truly ready. I am apparently jumping the gun. (Curse you Stephanie Meyer for making it look so easy!!!!)

So even though I do not want to do it, I think the only answer right now is to put my book down, learn a little patience, and start a new novel.

Here is my question though…do I begin writing the sequels? Or do I start an entirely new novel?

What do you think?

After hearing back about my manuscript and some major thinking I have decided to start querying again. This time I want to be more specific with the agents I target and make sure I have learned absolutely EVERYTHING I can about each one. Hello Google!

This is a curious task. And if we are being honest (which I have an annoying habit of usually doing so, often when I should not…) I have to admit it feels a bit more like stalking than researching. This is kinda how it goes…

I go to Query Tracker and search for agents who represent my Genre. I only take note of the agents who accept email submissions – which are most of them. I then pick one and check out their website. I browse the website and look for books they have represented, agent bio’s and any other information the website has to offer. Sounds like sufficient effort at this point right? Well that’s not good enough for me! I need something to chat about in my query letter. Knowing they went to Brown University or live in New York does NOTHING for me. I can’t chat about that! So I go to Google and type in their name. Here’s where it starts to feel like stalking. I find everything and anything I can about these agents. Some have blogs, Linked-In accounts, twitter,personal websites (if I’m lucky) , etc. I follow them. I check out all their previously published books on Amazon. I might as well be doing a background check on each one!

Does anyone feel this way while researching agents? Or am I the only one who is going so far with my research?

I swear I’m not a stalker!!! I’m just trying to do my job!

So I have been told a few times (or possibly more…) that I have a unique writing voice. I know people spend time researching how to build their voice, but somehow, without trying, I have already created one. Intriguing….

So of course…I googled it…

Writer’s voice is a literary term used to describe the individual writing style of an author. Voice is a combination of a writer’s use of syntax, diction, punctuation, character development, dialogue, etc., within a given body of text (or across several works). Voice can also be referred to as the specific fingerprint of an author, as every author has a different writing style.

I understand the concept, but I still don’t understand how mine is so unique. I’m not complaining of course…just trying to figure out how I can hone it and increase it’s awesomeness. Any ideas? I wonder if I’m so awesome because of all the voice lessons on Katie’s blog?

***For regular updates on blog postings, my website, and the process of my book become a Fan!***

Revision and Self Editing by James Scott Bell has been eye opening to me and I’m only in the first couple chapters. But it is the reason I have decided to set aside writing and do a bit of reading. It was one of the suggestions.

Read more

After all…I do have a tendency to be passive aggressive…can’t I speak with a passive voice as well?

I have rewritten my entire first chapter….about 3 times now….and I SWEAR this last version better be the last. I have weeded out as much passive voice as I can, but I just FEEL like some of it belongs there. So I picked up one of my favorite books (I will refrain from naming which one…for fear of the peanut gallery chiming in) and realized it’s AMAZINGLY passive, yet I still love it! It all make sense to me. It all sounds great in the text it is used in. PLUS its not the FIRST book in the series, so this writer had already had some experience.

So what if I want to be a little passive too. I just feel like it works and like it sounds exactly how I want it to. I’ve gone through it at least 5 times in the last few days and thought hard about my words and my emotions and my characters (for ONLY the first chapter mind you) and it feels complete to me. I made some major revisions and moved some big pieces around, but it feels good. However the passive voice still remains in parts. I’m not being lazy, as they say those who speak with a passive voice often are. I have reworded each passive sentence and the ones I have left just don’t make sense any other way.

So am I ruining my chances of being published? I mean if other authors *cough cough Stephanie Meyer cough cough** can get away with it and still remain on the NY Times Best Seller list….there has to be a TINY bit of hope for me!

Bear with me here….

I was reading Rachelle Gardner’s post today about not necessarily needing to be “Hot” to sell. Yesterday she talked about how the “Hot” stuff DOES move quicker but then today mentioned that sometimes even the manuscripts that sit on her desk for months at a time can end up being really great books. All this got me thinking …about high school…being a teenager… and dating… even though I was TOO young to understand it.

We become a teenager and suddenly we are enthralled with the opposite sex. It’s all about who is cute and who is “Hot” and who is NOT. I wanted to be “Hot” stuff. I wanted all the boys to like me and want me. I struggled with trying to figure out what they wanted and trying to become just that. I cut my hair, I grew it out. I was grunge, I was girlie, I was hippie, I was trendy. I spent an absurd amount of time trying to be what was CONSIDERED “Hot” that I never sat back and perfected me. I never focused on who I was and what I wanted. This is almost always the case with teenage dating. We try so hard to impress the opposite sex that we forget who we are.

I spent so much time worrying and obsessing over whether or not I was “Hot” stuff that I didn’t realize I was. I was not one of those lucky girls who woke up a teenager and thought, “Damn I’m hot!” It literally took me almost 6 years to sit back, look in the mirror and say, “Dang, I am kinda cute!” It was at that point that things started to fall into place. The point where I said, “Wait, this is who I am, and I am actually quite attractive.” That was the point where I gained confidence and relaxed about dating, and of course the point where I met my husband. Kinda ironic that it was AFTER high school and adolescence!

I may not have had boys flocking to me right off the bat as I had wanted them too, but when the time was ready, and high school and the awkward phases had passed, I met a man who found me Hotter than “Hot”! He saw me for who I was and loved it. He saw my TRUE beauty!

So we can sit back and worry like a bunch of adolescent children about whether or not our book is “Hot”! Or we can sit back and look at it for what it is. That what we have written is what it is. It may not be about “Hot” topics like vampires and Amish romance, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth selling. I think we all need to take a minute to stop worrying and instead take a minute to realize that, “Damn, this really is a great piece of work!’ Then we need to realize  that it just takes the right person to see it for its TRUE beauty!